not dead yet…

I know, I know. A few of you have been asking where I’ve been and if I’m ok. My last post kind of left my M.I.A. feeling kind of like an emo attention-seeker. I swear that’s  not the case. It’s just that Easter season was getting near, which meant that work started getting crazy, and my time to sit and blog was next to zero.

Thankfully, the holiday is over, and the work is back to normal (sort of). Although my few days of bad luck that I mentioned in the last post carried over to this past week, which kind of sucked. I woke up Monday morning with such bad allergies, I thought I was sick. I called in sick, and ended up heading to the doctor. Not for the symptoms, though… because my little “girlie problem” came back and I promised myself I would seek medical attention if that was the case. Since I was at the doctor’s, I figured I would mention another stomach-related problem that I’ve been dealing with on and off for the past six months. Thought, why not get the most bang for my buck with my co-pay.

Turns out I should have kept my mouth shut, because I left the office with a stab-mark in my arm (they needed bloodwork) and a couple of test tubes that I needed to take home and take a stool sample in. I mean, come on! I felt like an 80-year old woman. WHO TAKES A STOOL SAMPLE?! I started to freak about it, and for the next three days, I couldn’t poop. Like, at all. I actually did at work one day and cursed the toilet when I flushed because I so could have used it and been done with it. So, that was Monday. Then Tuesday afternoon at work I started to get this random pain/ache in my left eye. It felt like I had poked it or something. It progressively got worse quite fast, and by that night, I was in agony – laying there with ice on my face. I woke up Wednesday morning looking like I had gotten into a bar brawl… My eye was swollen and it hurt to even blink. Back to the doctor’s I went. Turns out, I had some sort of infection in my eye. So they gave me steroid eye drops to take. Luckily, it’s gotten better since, although now it just itches like a motha and I am dying to wear eye makeup again. I just don’t look right without mascara.

Yesterday was Easter, and the plan was to spend it at my grandparents’ with my mother, step-dad, sister and the rest of the relatives. Although when I finally rolled out of bed at 11am (and then again at 1pm, and then again at 3:30pm), I just couldn’t force myself enough energy to put on a smile and be social. I ended up having a slight freak-out which involved crying fits dressed in nothing but a bathrobe and a towel on my head, and then a cuddle-fest with the boy (I mean man) who means the world to me. I finally was ok to drop in and say hello, but I am just so drained.

I have no idea why I’m so drained. Things could be oh so much worse. Things aren’t even that bad. But Simon and I now have to take on more than half the house bills at home to cover our new rent rate, and my bank account is dwindling so fast, and I’m just feeling slightly overwhelmed and panicky. This will pass, I know it. I just feel like I’m treading water and I’m getting kind of tired, I guess.

I just need to put on my big girl panties (ew, I hate that word) and deal with it.